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MAKE UP ACOUNTING


MILANI ACCOUNTING

I looked at the FIGURE again! And again! And I wondered why this LEDGER will have a DEBIT BALANCE! It’s supposed to be a NILL BALANCE or better still, a CREDIT BALANCE. Did I over pay this account? I don’t think so. My CONTROL says that no one is owing me ....so why this FIGURE? Applying foundation before the powder is a great CONCEALER. A little TOUCH of DEBITS here and a little TOUCH of CREDITS there. The UGLY FACE will appear BEAUTIFUL on the WEDDING DAY. So what do I do to this FIGURE so that THE UNBALANCED ACCOUNT will appear BALANCED on the BOARD MEETING?
 For 2 hours I was starring endlessly at this FIGURE. It didn’t make sense to be here. So what do I do with the FIGURE?


So why do I stare at this FIGURE? It’s not as if it will be used for decision making or improve the performance of the company. This FIGURE may have been missing in a hotel lodge or in a bar. It’s like asking the BEAUTY ARTIST why there are SPOTS on the FACE of the BRIDE after following the whole MAKE-UP PROCEDURES the way the ACCOUNTANT follow the ACCOUNTING PRINCIPLES. So why these SPOTS? Didn’t you apply the CONCEALERS? Why this FIGURE on the FACE of the REPORT? How does the MAKE UP ARTIST use CONCEALERS and how does the ACCOUNTANT use MISCELLANOUS ACCOUNTS?
 She walked into our studio and paid to be changed. Her wedding is just this weekend and we were trying to test the MAKE UP PRODUCTS she had chosen. I spend hours trying to do the JOB of a MAKE-UP ARTIST. After hours of following the PROCEDURES I was taught in the MAKE-UP SCHOOL, I raised my head up and allowed the new MAKE-UP ARTISTS to appreciate their instructor's hand work, my Director walked unexpectedly into the studio and asked 'what are these SPOTS during on the BRIDE'S FACE"?
 For 2 minutes I was starring at this SPOT. It didn't make sense to be here. So what do I do with the SPOT?
 What I find interesting with the BEAUTY ARTIST is the POWER to CALL "UGLY BEAUTIFUL" It's a CREATIVE IMAGINATION. You don't tell a BEAUTY ARTIST that a BRIDE is UGLY when all he/she can see is BEAUTY. That is CREATIVITY. So does the ACCOUNTANT. You can’t tell an ACCOUNTANT that there is a LOSS when all he/she sees is PROFIT! THE ACCOUNTANT CAN MAKE-UP! The ACCOUNTANT has the POWER TO CREATE.
 I looked at the SPOTS again! And again! And I wondered why this BRIDE will go like this.

So what gives the BEAUTY ARTIST the POWER to CREATE? PROCEDURES!
And what gives the ACCOUNTANT the POWER to CREATE? PRINCIPLES!
The PROCEDURES and PRINCIPLES must be duly followed to achieve the DESIRED/EXPECTED RESULT/REPORT.
I wanted to use MILANI PRODUCTS to MAKE-UP the BRIDE but I changed my mind because MILANI does not have a FACE PRIEMER so I went for BLACK UP. Moreover BLACK UP proved to be better on the BRIDE’S SKIN. It does not change the fact that MILANI MAKE-Ups are good. PEACHTREE ACCOUNTING would have been the best choice for this SYSTEM but it doesn’t take into considerations NCD CHARGES and CABOTAGE DEDUCTIONS on the FACE of the INVOICE so I went for FIRSTKLASS ACCOUNTING. Moreover FIRSTKLASS is a NIGERIAN SOFTWARE. It doesn’t change the fact that PEACHTREE is good.
 I used the FACE WIPES to SUBTRACT the DIRTs on her FACE and ADDED the FACE PRIEMER in order to make the MAKE-UP stay and last longer. Then I applied FOUNDATION on her FACE before using the CONCEALERS to CONCEAL all the SPOTS. Then I applied POWDER to set the FOUNDATION. I went for her EYEBROWS using the tweezers to SUBTRACT unwanted HAIRS and DEFINE the SHAPE of the EYEBROW. Then I highlighted the EYEBROW to make it look PRESIZED by ADDING a bright EYE SHADOW. The Bride looked at the MIRROR and almost couldn’t remember she was looking at her FACE. It’s like FACE OFF! I went for the EYE SHADOW PRIEMER, added colors of EYE SHADOWS from the LID to the CREASE and from the CONTOUR I blended the CREASE. There was a complete transformation and I quickly ADDED LIQUID LINER to the EYE LASHES and brushed the EYE LASHES with an EYE LASH BRUSH. She was starring unbelievable at her pretty face when I lined the LOWER EYE RIM with a BLACK EYE PENCIL in order to open her EYES. I added BLUSH to her CHEEKS and applied RED LIPSTICK to her LIPS. Finally I use BRONZER to BRONZE her face in order to add GLOW!
 After the above PROCEDURES I didn’t expect to see any SPOT on the FACE of the BRIDE. SPOTS could be embarrassing when so much is expected from your qualifications and experience.
 The ACCOUNTANT should know one truth. ACCOUNT doesn’t lie. And so should the BEAUTY ARTIST. You can't change NATURE completely. An ACCOUNTANT would have followed all the KNOWN PRINCIPLES should expect to have a BALANCED ACCOUNT at the end of the ACCOUNTING PERIOD. But it becomes embarrassing when you see a FIGURE you can’t explain and exhume. In my case, the ACCOUNT was balanced but that FIGURE wasn’t supposed to be there. So I kept my eyes glued to my SYSTEM trying to FIGURE out the MAKE-UPs of that FIGURE. And like the BEAUTY ARTIST who ADDS and SUBTRACTS, I started to DEBIT and CREDIT in order to have PERFECT ACCOUNT. This FIGURE doesn’t exist anywhere in my SCHEDULES. What it actually means is that an ACCOUNT was OVERPAYED meanwhile no PAYMENT SCHEDULE or VOUCHERS can prove it. So it becomes a question of ERROR. Maybe the BEAUTY ARTIST forgot to apply a particular POWDER in order to remove all SPOTS. There are ERRORS that affect the TRIAL BALANCE and there are ERRORS that do not affect the TRIAL BALANCE. I was facing the latter because my ACCOUNT BALANCED. But this FIGURE? DEBIT BALANCE!
Ok......I know what to do! Just pass JOURNALS and take this FIGURE off this ACCOUNT. OK!
DEBIT..................SUSPENSE ACCOUNT
CREDIT................AFFECTED ACCOUNT

No! What if the MANAGEMENT ask me what the SUSPENSE is all about? I cant's explain to a MANAGEMENT that does not understand in totality the ACCOUNTING CONCEPTS that this FIGURE does not exixt in CASH and doesn't even exist anywhere. Such HUGE AMOUNT of DEBITS? And NO CUSTOMER/STAFF is owing me or was OVER-PAYED? 
OK! This is it!
DEBIT..........MISCELLANOUS ACCOUNT
CREDIT........AFFECTED ACCOUNT

This is CREATIVITY in action. Maybe that was where my senior PROFESSIONAL COLLEGUES got the phrase "CREATIVE ACCOUNTING" from! The MANAGEMENT doesn't have the PATIENCE to querry MISCELLANOUS ACCOUNT because it contains so many things ranging from Office expenses to area boys settlement, loading/off loading of containers, pr to port gatemen, settlement of naval police from onne to borokiri, etc. The ACCOUNT is defendable. But immediately after the BOARD MEETING I will have to WORK EXTRA HOURS to LOCATE the MAKE-UPs of this FIGURE. And i must do it before the AUDITORS come. The AUDITORS can easily detect that FIGURE like the DIRECTOR of the BEAUTY STUDIO can detect SPOTS. And God help you if they send those under 24 AUDITORS from KPMG who wants to be MANAGERS in 2 years of PRACTICE!

To be continued…………………………………..

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