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HOW TO EVICT UCHE FROM YOUR HOUSE

HOW TO GIVE A BAD TENANT QUIT NOTICE

This week, our Story on EVERYDAY PEOPLE is about a young man named Uche. This happened many years ago in Aba. It was my late Father who told me this story. My late dad was a story teller and his stories are true life events. I wish he was alive to see his stories being published. At least he will earn some royalties. Respect to him man!

So, here is a story of Uche  A. He was a Co-tenant of my dad but was very stubborn.  Uche was so stubborn that even the Landlord was scared of him. I know there are so many Uches in most of the public yards you find around. 

First of all, let's x-ray Mr. Uche;
  1. Uche does not pay his house rent
  2. Uche does not pay his NEPA (Electrical) Bills
  3. Uche does not come out for Sanitation (Clean-Up)
  4. Uche comes back very late when the Yard gate is locked and disturbs everyone in the Yard.
  5. Uche is a trouble maker
  6. Uche fights with his neighbours and beats them up!
  7. Uche is huge and a man to fear
  8. Uche intimidates the Landlord’s Sons. 
  9. Uche refused to Honor the quit notice given to him by the Landlord
  10. Uche even fought with the Landlord
  11. Uche became the Landlord! Hahahahahahaha! No look Uche face oo!

     
The Landlord who was my dad friend’s father was a peaceful man and was a man who didn’t like trouble. The landlord and my father were somehow related. Uche made up his mind not to be paying his rent. He was given quit notice but he refused to pack out. He threatened everybody even the landlord’s grown up sons who were older than him.

Let me ask you before I continue; What do you think the Landlord should do to drive Uche out of his house? 

  1. Call in the Police?
  2. Use local insurance on him?
  3. Get area boys to throw him out?
  4. Just let him be?



How will you deal with a man that is friend to the Police? You will end up wasting your time in making a case that will go nowhere. You know how things are done in this part of the universe. The man with the stronger voice and connection wins the case. Some people can just go out of their way to frustrate your life. Have you ever loaned money to a friend or business associate and the fellow refused to pay back the debts and you are fully aware that this person has the capacity and stamina to pay back this debt? The person prefers to spend that money in court just to frustrate you. This is the kind of person this our Uche can be. Na area wahala man!

My late father was a young man then and was living in one of the rooms in that yard. So, one Christmas or festive period (not sure now), Our War-Lord Uche traveled out of Aba to his village or somewhere. It was an opportunity for the Landlord to regain his house but he didn’t know how to go about it in order to avoid Uche making unnecessary claims. So, the Landlord asked my late dad for a plan. 

My late dad searched for his thinking cap and entered his thinking room. Chai! Of all plans, possible! Can you guess what late Mr. Ota Uma Mba, aka JC Tailors, aka Jacob aka Tailor na Alaba International thought of? You can’t imagine this!

My dad got a dead fowl. I don’t know if he killed the fowl for this purpose or if he found a dead fowl. He tore the belly of the fowl open and poured enough omo (detergent) inside the belly and added some water. He called the Landlord and they climbed into the ceiling. They made their way to the room of this stubborn Uche and located the exact place his bed was placed. They opened a small space in the ceiling and carefully dropped the dead swollen fowl on top of the bed. O’boy! See the thought of man ooo! This is what the oyibo man calls “Thinking out of the box”.

They left it that way until our huge man Uche returned from his travel. As usual, when Uche came back the whole Ehi Road Aba will know that Uche is back.  As he opened his bedroom he saw maggot and flies all over his bed. The dead chicken was right on top of his bed and the room was smelling. Uche screamed “Ndi Ohafia ehhh” (Meaning “Ohafia people ooo”) and ran away. He ran and never came back to that house forever!!! That was how Uche abandoned whatever he had in that apartment and ran for his life. Who would have taught that a dead fowl with detergent in its belly will chase a fearless Uche away? This is because of what the African man believes and perceives. The sight of the dead fowl was already interpreted to be a form of local insurance (juju) that has been set up for him.

Please don't try this in your Compound oo! I no dey ooo!

This is the end of our Story on Everyday People for this week. Let me ask you? 

  1. Do you think what my late dad and the Landlord did was right?
  2. If you were Uche, what would you have done at the sight of the dead fowl on your bed?
  3. Do you have any of such Uches in your neighborhood?
  4. How would you handle this Uche if you happened to be his Landlord?
Let’s know your thoughts. Kindly drop your thoughts on the comment box below. Also subscribe to this site and be one of the first to receive our weekly stories on Everyday People! 

Comments

  1. Hahahaha. This is too funny!!! What d Landlord n ur late father did was the best. But that thinkers room was powerful

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hohohohohoho! It was unbelievable!

    ReplyDelete

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